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Leslie Y. Gutterman:
Responding to emotional devastation
Published in the Providence Journal.
Saturday,
February 12, 2011
By Leslie Y.
Gutterman
Arthur and Laurie Gross received the telephone call that all parents dread. A
year ago, on Feb. 12, 2010, they were awakened to learn the heartbreaking news
that their son Avi, a 21-year-old freshman at Brown University, had been struck
and killed at the intersection of Thayer and Hope streets, on the East Side of
Providence. Marika Baltscheffsky, 19, an exchange student from Sweden, was
injured as the two were hit by an SUV driven by a man later charged with drunk
driving.
Every life is precious and irreplaceable. Avi Schaefer’s life was especially
remarkable. Brown President Ruth Simmons issued this statement later that day:
“A young man of inordinate strength and integrity, Avi had already begun to have
an impact on the Brown community. By all early signs, he was going to make the
most of his time at Brown and his mark on the world after Brown.”
This was an unusual tribute to a student who had only been at the university
for six months. Avi had arrived at Brown with an unusual background. Born and
raised in Southern California, he and an identical twin brother had moved to
Israel and served in the Israel Defense Forces, and he eventually served as a
counter-terrorism expert. He participated in training Israel’s most elite
military units. After his army service, Avi came to Brown as an undergraduate,
concentrating in International Relations and Middle East Studies.
Now the surprise. One might have predicted that Avi Schaefer would emerge
from his military service as a right winger dedicated to avenging the murder of
countless civilians as well as many of his army buddies. Instead, Avi became
dedicated to pursuing peace in the Middle East. He wanted to begin with the
microcosm of an American college campus. He strove to make a difference by
unraveling the complex strands of the Israel-Palestinian conflict right here in
Rhode Island. Avi became a peace activist. He never forgot his father’s
teaching, “An enemy is someone whose story you have not yet heard.”
And so it was that this Brown freshman became a leader in trying to forge
understanding between Israeli and Palestinian students. This is part of his
letter published in The Brown Daily Herald: “I went to the army so that my
children will not have to — a dream I fear may not come true. . . . I am here,
ready and anxiously waiting for you to work with me. . . . Do not give me
another reason to lose hope. . . . I wait for the day that the words of the
Prophet Isaiah will ring true — ‘Nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
neither shall they learn war any more.’”
Avi Schaefer had now become a soldier waging peace. By the time he was killed
on the streets of Providence, Avi was already working with a Palestinian student
and a Brown professor designing a course where young people could study the
narratives of Israelis and Palestinians as a window through which one might view
the possibility of hope and peace.
President Simmons was right: Avi Schaefer was having an impact. Indeed, in
addition to carrying a rigorous load of challenging classes, he found time to
raise money for victims of Haiti’s devastating earthquake. Avi also used his
specialized skills to help train the SWAT team of the Providence Police
Department.
So what is a bereaved family to do? One would not pass judgment if they
became embittered and withdrawn in the face of this senseless tragedy.
Religion’s most painful question is how a just and loving God can allow
unfairness and injustice. The agonizing cry “Why?” has reverberated forever
without an adequate answer.
But there is another question to ask at such a time. The question may not be
“Why” as much as “What now?” When bad things happen to good people, we do have
some control about our response to emotional devastation.
And so the bereaved Schaefer family established the Avi Schaefer Fund. Among
its stated objectives are: “To facilitate conferences and retreats that will
bring together Israeli and Palestinian students with diverse and conflicting
views on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict; these events will help to facilitate
personal relationships . . . to create new models for courses and programs based
on sharing both the Israeli and Palestinian narratives; this is to be aimed to
encouraging listening and understanding on campuses.”
Today is not only the anniversary of the death of a special young man whose
life was filled with high hope and rich promise, it is also the anniversary of
the birth of a great American president. Let Abraham Lincoln have the final
word: “May the Almighty grant that the cause of truth, justice and humanity
shall in no way suffer.”
Leslie Y. Gutterman is the senior rabbi at Temple Beth-el, in
Providence.
